10 great ways to waste Love
Updated: May 24, 2018
In the ancient cultures, as humanity began to move from hunting and gathering to agrarian and trade-based economic societies, four principle types of business practitioners (social contributors) evolved: Builders, Merchants, Innovators and Bankers. Everyone has a unique recipe of preference and capacity for each of the four fundamental Core Values.
This is part 2 in a 4-part series exploring each type of social contributor, how they got their start, what separates each from the other, and the vital role each plays in the world. Which do you most identify with? Why? Share your thoughts as we take a walk on the core-value side of the world…
Learn about Love.
Teams of craftsmen, traders, and shop owners specialized in developing new trading relationships, opening new markets, developing crafts and arts, and creating channels through which trade goods could flow. Some of these merchants also became the storytellers, poets, musicians, and artists. They led in developing culture and literature. Merchants opened the minds of people to new visions and new opportunities. Because they were merchants, they learned about other cultures and remembered and shared the stories of these discovered societies. They inspired others with their visions of what might be accomplished, causing their groups of people to work together, mentoring and nurturing each other for the good of each individual and for the good of the whole.
We define Love as…
The honoring and nurturing of core values
in one’s self and in others.
The primary contribution of the Love core energy is to visualize how things can be and to develop relationships to make things happen. This core value is driven by inspiration and intuition, supported by cognitive connection of current reality with future opportunity. Thoughtful responses to circumstances and investment of personal problem solving energy in a given situation gives the Love activated persons the sense of companionship, trust and optimism, that leads to great team work, strong communities and inspired activity; creating a better today and tomorrow for everyone, because of their personal presence and Loving counsel.
Leadership in any endeavor requires a deep capacity for Love. Almost any job requires some capacity for Love that is honest and open and easily accessible in the leader and trusted by the people on the team. Love is tough. Love tells the truth in an effective way even at the risk of losing a valued relationship.
The capacity for Love is so important it is essential that we understand the benefits and significant contributions that are made by people who are willing to be the Love in the room. It is also essential that we are able to avoid some of the ways that Love-based individuals waste their Love.
When Love is shared at the right time, in the right circumstances, in the right manner, the effects are dramatic and real.
When Love strategies are used at the wrong time, in the wrong circumstances, in an ineffective manner, the negative effects are dramatic and real.
So here are ten well-tested and validated ways for Love-based individuals to waste their Love.
1. Control the way people interact with you.
2. Disown today’s circumstances and results, continuing to talk and listen while Rome burns.
3. Pretend to be a perfectly loving person.
4. Dismiss the inspirations and contributions of others.
5. Get lost in talking things out—fail to decide to work.
6. Inspire teams then fail to manage and follow-through.
7. Make everything be about relationships.
8. Over-communicate and explain and commiserate.
9. Constantly expect people to be better than they are.
10. Dishonor the core values in others.
Merchants are relationship people. They value relationships with other people and with all things. This causes them to pay attention to the way people feel and think and talk and act. It also causes them to be attuned to aesthetics and beauty, to words, poetry, and music. But more than this, they are the risk takers, visionaries, and the traders opening new markets and all kinds of exchanges between individuals and societies. They see endless opportunity and constant possibilities. They foster the pursuit of wealth, art, and beauty. Merchants motivate and inspire builders, innovators, and bankers. Merchants are team builders and deal makers. They lead through inspiration and excitement. They ask others to help them achieve their unique vision. Their strategy is to attract others to their visions and to nurture the core values in themselves and in others.
The merchant’s core value is love. Love is working toward an inspired vision of what can be, by nurturing the core values in one’s self and in others. The nurturing of core values in one’s self includes making a connection with people, certainly, but it also includes a feeling of connectedness with the universe, with the natural world. Love sees the truth about the way things are and visualizes the possibilities for the individual and the community.
To truly nurture the core value, love, in one’s self requires acknowledgement of one’s need for solitude, for silent appreciation of beauty. Love encompasses your desire for being touched and for touching. It includes the sense of being moved emotionally by a good movie or a sweet song or a grand orchestra.
But love is specifically not:
Being a door-mat
Touchy-feely stuff, caretaking
Mawkishness and emotionalism; sentimentality
The nature of the core value love might best be illustrated by the executive coach who is committed to learning who you truly are and helping you to be a mature and contributing, fully actualized version of yourself.
Love-based people relish each new experience of art and music. They remember stories about people sharing life with others. Love engenders our need for human history and for an optimistic view of the future. Love-based people foster relationships with others by accepting and placing importance on their core values and Catalytic Values™.
So merchants look for opportunities to connect with other people. They desire openness and closeness with their fellow workers. They put themselves out for others and take social and emotional risks to build good relation- ships.
The merchant love value is not just about people. It consists of love of all things: music, ideas, stories, poetry, the Earth, aesthetics, and culture. Love-based individuals are people who see and understand the importance of relationships with all things. They work to gain and hold a vision of what can be, how things, people, societies, art, and music can be made better.
Love is the highest form of abstraction. It requires perception, aesthetic appreciation, and awe in the presence of beauty. Love is the glue that holds people together when everything else deserts them.
A merchant’s love makes them an irresistible force in business. Without them, meaningful contacts wouldn’t be made, visions couldn’t be put in place, and employee relations would suffer. The inspiration that the merchant provides through the nurturing of the competencies of others is invaluable. They will place themselves in whatever role is necessary to help build bridges, decrease conflict, and improve the nature of relationships.
Their love helps them contribute to the team in various ways. Their nurturing builds dynamic teams. Their appreciation for aesthetics helps them create dynamite presentations. These actions derive from the merchant’s need to love and nurture core values in as many different people as possible.
Note: Some merchants tend to be very gregarious, constantly mixing and meshing with dozens or even hundreds of persons. Other merchants tend to be more introspective, focusing on deep intimate relationships, one person at a time. Some of this difference in range of perspective derives from the secondary and tertiary values. But the nature of love itself covers this entire spectrum of social interaction.
This need to cultivate as many relationships as possible, as deeply and completely as possible, influences every decision, judgment, and action. The love that a merchant possesses allows them to make important contributions to their teams.
In order to build their self-respect, merchants need to feel appreciated in return for their love. Being perceived as a loving person is also extremely important to the merchant. They spend many hours trying to cultivate their relationships. When this effort is discounted, their sense of self-worth deflates.
Are you a Love-first person? Is your boss? Your spouse? In what way do Merchants contribute in your life? Ever felt like you’ve gone head-to-head with a Merchant? What happened?
Take the CVI to learn more about the Merchant and all of the essential four Core Values.